It doesn't hurt
by Kuromi Shinku
Summary: - Mello, what are you doing with those scissors?- MelloxNear, character death.


_**Watashi**_ _**no koi wo  
**__**higeki**_ _**no Jurietto ni shi nai de.  
**Don't let my romance_  
_become Juliet in a tragedy._  
[Romeo and Cinderella - Hatsune Miku]

I walked into my room, slamming the door violently.

It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair! It happened again!

Again the second, for the umpteenth time! How many times have I tried? I spent years trying to beat the damn dwarf, and after all my efforts I was still after him!

Angrily I threw with a shove the books on my desk, making them falling on the ground.

So it was all useless!

I sat on the floor with a thud, his head in his hands.

Damn... Why did I fail every time? I studied like crazy all day, but it was not enough. He, Near, was always a step ahead of me.

I was useless.

Useless...

On the floor were my scissors. They too had fallen off the desk, like everything else. I picked them up with a trembling hand.

This was the solution? But of course... Near would always be the first, so why make an effort?

But I would be first, at least something.

I would be the first to get out of here. Away from this cursed place.

I made the scissors open with a click, and I went over the blade to my wrist.

A decisive cut. It took no time ...

* Knock, knock *

There was someone at the door. I didn't answer, he would have gone away.

But the door opened, creaking. A small figure entered the room.

He here?

- Mello, I wanted to talk ... -

He began, but stopped.

- Mello, what are you doing with those scissors? -

Near looked at me with eyes wide open, while I held the blade of the scissors between my fingers.

The anger came over my face. Why was he here?

- Get out. -

The growled against him.

- Get out of my room! -

He walked a few steps and knelt before me. With one hand he pushed away the scissors from my wrist.

- Stop. -

His atonal tone hurted my ears.

- What do you want? You are the first, what else do you want? -

My hand snapped before I knew it, stopping a few millimeters from his throat.

- Do you want to kill me? -

His voice changed a little shade, but I couldn't understand what it meant. His voice was monotonous, it couldn't express emotions.

- You want to kill me, it's right? -

He asked again.

- Yes! I want to kill you! I want you dead! You, you're the cause of all! If it wasn't for you, I'd be the best! -

His eyes became deeper. For an instant the barrier that covered them had dissipated.

- Then do it. -

My eyes widened. What had he said?

- Do it. -

I hadn't misheard.

- Do you think I wouldn't do it? I'd kill you instantly, even without your order! -

- Mine is not an order. I'm _asking_ you to kill me.-

He was asking me to kill him? So he was really crazy!

- Oh, it will hurt very badly, little Near. Are you sure you really want it? -

My words may have sounded ironical, but they weren't. Near would have suffered greatly, whatever way I had killed him.

My hand trembled, almost resting on his neck.

- I won't feel anything.

Little stupid ... My hand went away and prepared to strike. It jumped, but as before it stopped before hitting him. With a small gasp I dropped the scissors.

Why I couldn't do it...

- Mello, why didn't you do it? -

He asked, picking up the scissors.

- You wanted to kill me, you're not happy if I exist, right? -

I couldn't watch him, so I stared at the floor. Why did he want to die?

- You will feel a terrible pain. -

What a lame excuse.

- I won't feel anything, I've already told you. I'll prove it. -

- What? Wait ...! -

He moves too fast for me to stop him.

The scissors stuck in his heart, and there they remained.

The blood began to flow copiously from the wound, and dirtied his white shirt with a ruby-colored stain that was spreading quickly.

- It doesn't hurt ...-

It was a little more than a whisper.

His hands trembled, his eyes grew dim.

I grabbed him before his head slammed onto the floor.

- Near, what the hell have you done? -

He breathed heavily in my arms, chest raising and falling convulsively. The eyes were becoming opaque.

- You said it... too. If I... e...exist .. you can't... be... happy. R... right? -

- It don't seems a reason to ... holy god, but why? -

His hands grabbed my forearms, he began to tremble.

He was going away...

- Y... You shouldn't ask me why ... but... but for... who... -

- For who? You've done it for me? -

I didn't understand anything anymore. Near was dying in my arms ... for my fault.

By now he could hardly talk anymore.

- Ye... Yes ... be-because... indeed... I l... I... -

His eyes closed. He left his head on my arm, and didn't move.

His grip lost.

- N.. Near...Near answer me ... -

He was gone.

A tear plowed my face, and it crashed on my cheek.

He had become icy.

More tears followed the first.

What the hell he did...

You haven't even finished the sentence, Near.

"Indeed, I-" what? What did you want to say?

At the end you're always a step ahead of me.

Even now.

I pulled back the hair from above his face, my vision blurred.

I don't know how long I cried over the lifeless body of my rival.

_**-Indeed, I love you.-**_

* * *

Don't ask me why I wrote this story, is one of the saddest I've ever written. All started when I found a part in my book of epic, immediately after the death of Dido of the Aeneid, that talked of "suicide illustrious in Rome", and among them I was amazed by a woman named Arria who encouraged her husband sentenced to death to prevent the execution by suicide, of which she wanted to set an example by impaling herself with a dagger and reassuring with a "it doesn't hurt".

So "It doesn't hurt" is born by my need to try to understand what motivated her to such an action, and because when I read the description my mind immediately ran to Mello and Near.

Sorry if you have found some mistakes, but it was hard to translate from italian.

*Kuromi Shinku*


End file.
